“Great speech Mr.Jackson…”
“You look fabulous tonight Mr. Jackson…”
“Who are you wearing Mr. Jackson...?”
“Is it true you’re going to be selling the Beatles catalogue Mr. Jackson…?”
“How did you break your foot Mr. Jackson…?”
Damn these stupid reporters. My response to their unoriginal questions, in the exact same order they were asked were: thanks, thanks, mind your damned business, hell to the NO and fool if you had been paying attention to my speech I already answered that question! Well I won’t lie I answered all of these in my head and simply chuckled to myself inwardly – Oh if they only knew the truth. But instead of sullying my good name and showing a side of me that only a select few people get to see, I simply smiled, humbly clasped my hands together, bowed my head and thanked them from the bottom of my heart for their support. Yeah right.
God I need a drink!
I forgot how boring and stifling these events had become over the years and tonight was no exception. Even the red headed chick that was sat opposite me wearing the most gravity defying dress I had ever seen in my life did little to keep me interested. Even with her t!tties hanging out. Urgh what is wrong with me?
Ordinarily I would have bumped her up a few seats until she was sat next to me, made a little small talk before convincing her she looked like a woman who needed some fun, she looked like a woman who needed to get with a guy like me. I would have thrown her a wink, refreshed her wine glass and within an hour she would have been putty in my hands. Heck make that half an hour I was that good.
But what did I do?
Nada. Niets. Diddly squat.
Why did I do nothing?
Beats the sh!t out of me. But since I got here all I’ve wanted to do is drive up to the nearest KFC order me a bucket of original chicken, some corn, biscuits, mashed potatoes and gravy and a nice bottle of Crown Royal to wash it all down with, before settling in for the night with Jades voice in my ear.
Jade, Jade, Jade, Jade, Jade.
God I’ve got it bad for this girl. I have no idea when these feelings started, but all I know is that I’ve got Jade on the brain morning, noon and night. And tonight’s “phone date” as she likes to call them, has me anxious like a school boy waiting for their prom date to arrive.
Urgh snap out of it Jackson, like you need another woman in your life to complicate things even further.
“Hey Mike what did you think of my introduction man?” I turn to see Justin eagerly bouncing his way over to me , the huge grin on his face is like that of a Cheshire cat. Someone seems pleased with himself. Then again with Britney dressed the way she was tonight, I'd be grinning like a fool too.
We bump fists and he immediately engulfs me in a bear hug. The kid has really taken a shine to me and I must admit it feels good to know that I’m still respected by the up-and-comings in my field.
“You did a great job up there Justin, I appreciate it man.”
I must admit, N’Sync did a wonderful job at introducing me to the podium and Justin’s play on words during his speech was definitely unique. I just wish I didn't have to endure watching him and his blonde chick sucking each others face off all night.
“Mike we wouldn’t have missed it for the world. You’re my idol man. I’d do anything for you. Say we’re gonna hit up a club in a bit you wanna join us?”
I watch my little protégé bop up and down on the balls his heels like a kid that’s eaten too much candy corn and I stifle back a giggle. His energy is infectious but the last thing I want right now is to spend the night watching him and Britney drooling over one another whilst Lance drools over me!
“Nah that’s okay man you go enjoy yourself, I gotta get back to my kids anyway.”
“Come on mannnnnnnnnnn,” Justin whines like a girl and gives me a look similar to that of a little lost puppy dog.
Before I can think of expanding on my excuse as to why I couldn't possibly go out with these tweens, my cell vibrates inside my jacket pocket and when I see the caller ID I can’t help but smirk. Saved by the cell!
“Hold that thought Justin will ya.” I say as I turn my back on him for a brief moment and sigh a breath of relief into my cell phone.
“Ciao Bello,” I hear her smooth-like honey voice whisper into the mouth piece before I can say hello.
“Gurrrl you always know when to save the day you know that.”
I hear her giggle her sweet infectious laughter before she sighs, “You need some company tonight lover?”
“Mmmmmmmmm,” I hear myself moan in reply. The way she says lover, the letter “r” rolling off her tongue in that sexy Italian accent of hers...
Oh god that talented tongue of hers... visions of our last encounter flash before my eyes.
Damn is it hot in here all of a sudden?
“Is that a yes?” She giggles seductively.
“That’s a hell yes girl, but you sure it’s not too late for you? And what about my foot?” Looking down at my watch I see it's already a quarter after twelve and I know it will take me at least an hour to get out of this pandemonium of a circus and into the safe haven of my little rendezvous crib that I use for occasions just like these.
“Baby it’s never too late for you. And believe me, you don’t need your feet for what I have in mind. ”
I grin to myself. I guess tonight won’t be such a letdown after all.
“Just do me a favor Celeste?”
“Anything for you baby.”
“Bring me a classic chicken 12 piece bucket from KFC and don’t forget the gravy I’m starving!”
“Ahahahahaha got it. Ciao lover, see you in a bit.” She makes a few kissy noises into the receiver before she hangs up and I quickly scan my surroundings for the nearest exit. I signal one of my minders and he nods his head in understanding. It’s time to get me out of here and fast.
I feel a slight twinge of remorse when Jade suddenly pops back into my head. Oh well I guess our phone date will have to wait until tomorrow. I just hope she doesn’t get mad at me. The last time I bailed on her I had to fit the bill for a pair of very expensive haute couture Jimmy Choo’s to keep her from b!tching at me.
Urgh women! Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em!
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